try a little harder.

Hold on to me

2010-01-27T11:33:00.001-08:00

Don't let go for the world, cause i'm not from here and if you don't i'm afraid you might never see me again.

2009-09-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

It's okay for things to change, it's to be expected.

But change doesn't always have to mean bad change, does it?

It's time

2009-08-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

To go home, and start this.

2009-07-12T13:40:00.001-07:00

I can't wait to see my Mom on Wednesday. I've missed her so much.

I guess

2009-06-21T18:52:00.001-07:00

There's a first for everything. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

2009-06-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

Dream life.

Ghost Town

2009-06-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

The fog is so thick, I can barely see across the street.

There's no one around.

This is today.

These two gentlemen

2009-06-06T18:39:00.001-07:00

Make my life.

Sorry for the sidewaysness. I blame shitty internet connection that won't let me edit anything.

But you get the point.

the one that makes me laugh, she says.

2009-06-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

There are a select few people that feel like home to me. No matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, or even talked, we just fall right back into place.

These few people are the reason I smile and cherish my life.

Thank you.

Here we go.

2009-05-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

Also,

i'm too lazy to read back and check if i've mentioned this, but i got into school.

Which is fantastic and means things can go as planned.

But also, let's take a second to let this sink in.

ME---->SCHOOL??????

I won't screw things up and stop going this time, because i don't want everything to fall apart, and feel like i just need to get it out of the way.
But seriously speaking, it'll be the furthest thing from easy.

Oh well, Special Events Planning, here I come!

Summer 09

2009-05-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

Will go as follows:

Friday- Work, hang out with Caroline.

Saturday- Placement tests 9:30am. Pool tequila speedo stripper bikini party: 1pm

Sunday- Wicked hangover, getting tattooed, driving Caroline to her ride.

Monday- Last day of work

Tuesday- Moving stuff into storage, driving to Montreal.

Wednesday- Getting things sorted, saying bye to Dad.

Thursday- Driving to Jersey, for the summer.

Throw in a whole fucking lot of packing and stress and excitement. And there you've got it!

I'm trying my best

2009-05-23T21:56:00.000-07:00

not to crack.

I just got home.. and already I'm so stressed. I don't know if I can get in to school, and if I can't, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Everything, I mean EVERYTHING I've been trying to plan revolves around me being in school.

If this falls through.. I have no idea what will happen.

Fuck.

well,

2009-05-21T13:24:00.001-07:00

I love you.

31

2009-05-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

Clearly, my body cannot handle what it used to.

Three days no sleep? used to be no big deal.

What happens now?

I come home, and sleep for 31 hours straight.

I guess it's probably for the best, I can't afford to go back to my old ways.

I'm leaving for Jersey a day or two early now. So either Sunday after work, or Monday morning. And I'm there 'till Saturday. I'm glad that I actually get to go, and enjoy some time there and not have to rush. I can relax on the beach, get some lovin' and just take it easy. I look forward to it.

I don't have anything cute to wear while i'm there though. I want cute summerish outfits that will make him miss me even more, as lame as that sounds.

Aimee and I are having a day, on my birthday. Which is going to be lovely. We're going to go to party packagers (or whatever it's called) to prep for saturdays Mexican Tequila Birthday Fiesta!

And also hit up some Value Villages along the way in hopes of finding cowboy boots to replace the ones I wore everyday and then lost. And hopefully some cute stuff, I can make even cuter.

I've been letting myself go into the " I have a boyfriend now so i don't have to concern myself with my appearance" stage. Which is okay, to a certain extent considering he isn't around to see me. But I'm really going to make a conscious effort to avoid that. Especially once he is back, and we live together. Obviously I want to be comfortable around him, and I am. But I don't want to get to the point where he doesn't think I try for him. And even just for myself. Things are going well in my life and i'd like my image to portray that.

twitter

2009-05-07T15:01:00.000-07:00

i caved. i blame it on jonny being gone.

either way.

https://twitter.com/anastasiajm

Anastasia

2009-05-06T22:20:00.001-07:00

As Liam would put it, I'm no longer much of myself... So i need a new name.

We've decided that Anastasia is more appropriate for now. Ana and her old ways, well - most of the worst ones - are no more.

Things that are unusual:

I'm applying to school for Septe

mber, and really hoping I get in. I'm applying to "Special Events Planning - Destination Tourism". It's a two year program and I really think I can do it.

I'm not poisoning myself too much, with any sort of substance.

I have a steady job, that I like and actually show up for.

I have an actual boyfriend, that I like, and am treating properly. I haven't stepped out of line once (veeeeeery surprising) and have no intention to wrong(veeeeery surprising). He is away, and it doesn't change a thing.

We are getting our own condo, and making it fabulous. It's even going to have a spare bedroom for guests.

I'm getting along with my parents better than ever.

There is more, but that list is long enough for a name change.

I have so much to be excited about, but I am so impatient. I want everything now. I want to get into school, I want to find our place, I want to move in, I want to have Ikea day, I want to have dinner parties, I want to buy flowers once a week to put on the kitchen table, I want to take the dogs to obedience school, I want to start school, I want to start this.

just that kind of girl

2009-05-03T07:02:00.001-07:00

I think we may have decided last night, that if things keep up this way, we're going to live together when he gets back. There's just no point for us both to be paying for our own place, when there is no way we'd be spending a night apart.

I like the thought of this, but it also saddens me not to live with Heather. Sure, we've had our problems and differences, but that's what happens when you live with someone. None of that matters to me, or changes the fact that she's one of the best people i've met, and wouldn't want to lose.

The dogs are going to be a big problem. We're going to need to get a two bedroom so that Winston can have his own room. And Baxter is going to have to go to obedience school, it may take months.

But neither of us are about to get rid of our dogs, so we're just going to have to work extra hard.

I'm looking forward/not looking forward to looking for a new place. I like visiting places, but last year was such stress, and i'm going to have to do it alone this time.

I apologize for constantly blogging about the same thing, I just haven't been involved with anyone serious, in over a year now. And even then, it wasn't anything like this.

You all know me, and know how odd this is.

I found a band yesterday, and already see it being one of my favorites.

I should have listened to you baby, and not slept on the couch :( my back hurts now.

Alright.

2009-05-02T00:52:00.000-07:00

If it's on facebook, then it's legit.

OBVZ.

no but seriously, huuuuuge grin.

follow your heart

2009-04-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

This isn't goodbye.

2009-04-28T22:22:00.000-07:00

I couldn't have asked for a more perfect non-goodbye.

The drive home was long, but i made it back safely and with a smile on my face.

I do miss you a whole lot, already, but like you said we will see each other soon, so i'm okay.

I don't remember the last time I was this sure about anything.

Jersey Bound

2009-04-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

We've so much packing to do tonight. Not only him, who is moving, but me who has been living there for the past month or so. We'll be up all night, and we leave in the morning.
It'll probably turn into me driving, and him being asleep until we're almost there.
I don't mind though.
The drive is going to be long, but the drive back is going to be longer.
Although I've been talking about it since day 1, I don't think it's fully hit me yet. And I don't think it will until I'm driving back.
I won't lie, I'm a little concerned of what is to come. And while i'm not lying, i'll admitt that i'm actually terrified.

For those of you who know anything about me, this isn't me. This isn't what I do, or how I go on about relationships with others. The "ME" i'm reffering to, would already be planning on who would be next. And we all know I probably would already have slipped up once or twice.
Where do i stand in all this? Honestly, right now.. I'd wait.
Where do you stand in all this? Honestly, right now.. I haven't the slightest clue.

I am looking forward to summer, and to spending time with my friends that I haven't seen since the day 1 i mentioned earlier. Even though the first little while will probably be consisted of my whinning constantly, and being a great big mess, I can't wait to have them around and there for me. Cheap dinners, cheap drinks, shopping, taking Winston to play in the sun, maybe starting to go to the gym, eating healthier, little road trips, hangover breakfast and all the other wonderful things we do.

Either way, fingers crossed on my end.

time will tell

2009-04-20T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'm a little scared about what's going to happen after Sunday.
It's going to take me a while to get used to being home, sleeping in my bed, and sleeping alone.
That's saying a lot, considering before now, sleeping alone was my favorite thing to do.
I'm sure i'll be fine, but everything is different this time, so it's hard to say what things will be like.
I'm glad i'm going to get to see more of my friends. I feel bad for cutting them out for the past month. But i never do this, this never happens, and I hope they can forgive me and understand.
We've yet to put it out in the open, to discuss what is to happen.
I think i'd wait, if it came to it. Actually, i'm almost certain I would. But maybe it's just me. I'll find out soon enough.

On a lighter note, it's pouring out and it's making me hungrier than ever. The fact that the second i step outside I will be drenched, is making my stomach eat away at itself.
I really wish someone would bring me food right about now.

one hour, nineteen minutes

2009-04-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

Until I leave work, head to the LCBO, go home, go up to the thirteenth floor to reunite with Winston, Jess, Bella and Marc for a late afternoon of drinking until the boy who'se got my attention is done with work and his friends. Then we will eat, and spend a great night together, as per usual.
Today has turned around.

itchy eyes

2009-04-11T07:12:00.001-07:00

This morning, everything seems hard. Waking up, getting up, getting dressed, getting out of bed, getting off the couch, dropping you off at work, taking the elevator, walking to my apartment, finding my ipod cord, finding the energy to take out my dog, cleaning up pee, eating, getting dressed getting out of bed.

I don't want to work today, I don't want to do anything. Sometimes I miss when I used to hide in here for days on end.

Lately

2009-04-06T14:22:00.001-07:00

I've been finding myself to be in odd moods.
Things are well, I'm happy with the way they are.
Work is good too.
I'm not sure what it is. It's not like i'm down, or in a bad mood, just odd.
I'd like to be able to understand or explain.

That aside, my feet are soaked from this horrid weather.
I pretty much live the life of an old person. In bed before midnight, waking up early on Sunday mornings to go do groceries. It's cute, but only because I don't do it alone.

I may, or may not be kind of lost when you leave.

Today

2009-04-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

Today is a day, where I think we'd both be better off just staying in bed.

I'll change that station

2009-03-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

Lately i've been tired. It's not a bad thing, but it makes my days long.

So, long days and comfortable nights. Nothing to complain about.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do next year, where to live, if I should stay here, in this apartment, or go someplace completely new.

I had also forgotten how short my hair actually is, i'm not into it. Not one bit.

ways to know I really like you; continued.

2009-03-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

25) I sleep on a small couch with you, and rest my head on your chest.

26) I'm concerned, very concerned as to whether or not you like me.

27) On that note, I'm convinced you hate me.

28) I can spend everyday with you, and not notice that I am. It's just comfortable.

29)I go out of my way to try to make you aware of how into you I really am.

30) I apparently can even get stupid and annoying like every other girl when I talk to my friends about it.

31) My friends can tell I like you, that's a big one and doesn't ever happen.

32) I lose sleep just to see you and I LOVE sleep.

33) I find comfort in wearing your clothes.

34) The thought of anything or anyone else is miles away from crossing my mind at any point.

35) I don't have to make an effort to be "good".

36) I don't talk down to or about you.

37) People can tell that I light up when I talk to or about you.

possibly to be continued...

Also, this is proof of me not being a heartless robot, for once. FML.

PART 1

2009-03-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

See, it'll never end.

We're the creepers in the leather jackets

2009-03-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

No one will ever compare to us.

MONDAY, MARCH 16, 2009

CSI / VEGGIEDOGS & HARPHAND DES NEIGES

I have already found the one lady I need
the girl that no matter what will pull through.

The girl I wake up at 10am with a bottle of Vodka
The girl I go buy cowboy outfits with
The first and last girl I brought to my mom
The girl that worries about me when I vanish and comes to pick me up in a Lodgehotel at 4am in Toronto.
The girl I hook up
The girl that hooks me up
The only person I give a shit about

My bestfriend,
Anastasia Elizabeth Jarry-Mihalka

All I know is that, I might be deep in shit and It might be dark where I am standing.
But she's there, and this summer will be the greatest.

day 1

2009-03-15T00:07:00.001-07:00

went well.

i'm stressed, and tired, and not going to sleep.

i get home on wednesday and oh am i looking forward to it.

i'd say more, but i'm running on no sleep, or food, and far too much is going through my head.

goodnight.

currently

2009-03-13T22:55:00.001-07:00

this is what makes me happy.

"why did I have to meet someone so amazing right before I leave"

2009-03-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

I've been sick all week, really sick.

Yesterday I got sent home from work, and today I didn't even go.

I did have a cute day though, despite feeling and sounding awful.

Now I'm home, packing, showering and bringing Winston over to Aimee's who is an angel for taking care of him while I'm away in Quebec city.

I'm not sure what to make of this, but I won't ask too many questions. Day by day, things seem to be going well and I couldn't hope for better.

6:14 am

2009-03-11T03:18:00.000-07:00

home, and going back to bed for another few hours.

mhmphm

goodmorning

2009-03-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Last night, was good. I got nervous and shy around someone, which doesn't happen often.

I'm not sure what to think though, at all.

I can usually kind of pick stuff up, but right now, not at all.

I'll wait and see then, it's a nice change.

WORD OF CAUTION

2009-03-06T18:34:00.001-08:00

If you sleep with someone dirty, and then sleep in my bed, warn me so i can rid myself of the sheets and not let you back in.

Unfortunate

2009-03-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

How i'm slowly coming to realize that everyone you meet, no matter the situation, all have the same kind of childish immature things going on.

who knows

2009-03-05T06:11:00.003-08:00

9:10 am, home and going back to bed.

i'm not really sure about this, to tell you the truth.

ouchies.

2009-02-28T08:50:00.001-08:00

Oh, and my two favorite men are in town, my papa George and Jaypee.

Eep

2009-02-27T10:52:00.000-08:00

I somehow have to manage to finish my sleeve in about two sessions.

Those of you who know me, or have been around me while I get tattooed, know how much of a baby I am.

I'm going for sesh1 right now.

eeeeeeeep.

It's funny how things work out

2009-02-24T09:30:00.001-08:00

"Accidental" picture.

Enough is enough

2009-02-24T07:55:00.001-08:00

I got my car towed yesterday, out to the middle of nowhere.

But thanks to someone, who I'm not sure wants to be mentioned or not so I won't say (they have a tough image to hold up) I was able to afford getting back.

If that wasn't enough, when I got home, Ally and I were sitting on my bed. She gave me someone's number, I saved it to my phone. We talked a bit, and I started getting ready, putting my jacket on and such. At that point, my phone vanished. It won't ring, it goes straight to voicemail. But it's in my apartment.

I've searched high and low, I've taken breaks to clear my head, I went to sleep and it's still nowhere to be found.

I'm losing my mind.

Meet the mister

2009-02-19T22:36:00.000-08:00

I know you've seen a few pictures, but I thought it'd be time for him to be formally introduced.

He was a little shy at first, but here is is, in all his tiny gentleman-ness; Winston.

These memories used to mean everything to me

2009-02-18T20:08:00.000-08:00

Cause sometimes you've got to fight for what you really believe, but sometimes you just let go and don't forget to let your heart beat.

You're a star but you haven't been turned on

2009-02-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

For some reason, my legs are really sore.

I didn't do anything last night, i watched Chasing Amy, and the Golden Compass, drank some tea and that was it. And today, I am limping around like an idiot. It feels like I went snowboarding for the first time. I don't get it.

Oh well

2009-02-15T21:40:00.001-08:00

Not looking forward to going back tomorrow.

You know,

2009-02-11T20:21:00.000-08:00

There's consequences to all of your actions. Things catch up eventually, and usually it isn't pretty.

It's just the way it goes, and there is no avoiding it.

Just shine on

2009-02-09T17:19:00.000-08:00

Good weekend.

Looking forward to this weekend.

Not sleeping enough.

Too many headaches.

Too many sandwiches.

Messy dog.

I want to travel.

I don't like my hair.

I have 1.77$ in my account.

I need to clean.

The bathroom is filthy.

Friends should be on.

HELP HELP HELP.

2009-02-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

Alright, so my mind is still boggled by this mystery admirer.

I'm useless at everything, clearly, so I need everyone's help.

51° 31' 0 N,0° -6' 0 E

And thirteen letters

Helps?

Speak up, continued.

2009-02-05T19:03:00.000-08:00

And only to ease your frustration,
would I hold you in my embrace,
and dispel your lingering hesitation
to hope, to love, through the hands of fate
is to be without understanding,
but here, still, I wait..

try a little harder.

Hold on to me

It's time

I guess

Ghost Town

These two gentlemen

the one that makes me laugh, she says.

Here we go.

Summer 09

I'm trying my best

well,

31

twitter

Anastasia

just that kind of girl

Alright.

follow your heart

This isn't goodbye.

Jersey Bound

time will tell

one hour, nineteen minutes

itchy eyes

Lately

Today

I'll change that station

ways to know I really like you; continued.

PART 1

We're the creepers in the leather jackets

MONDAY, MARCH 16, 2009

CSI / VEGGIEDOGS & HARPHAND DES NEIGES

day 1

currently

"why did I have to meet someone so amazing right before I leave"

6:14 am

goodmorning

WORD OF CAUTION

Unfortunate

who knows

ouchies.

Eep

It's funny how things work out

Enough is enough

Meet the mister

These memories used to mean everything to me

You're a star but you haven't been turned on

Oh well

You know,

Just shine on

HELP HELP HELP.

Speak up, continued.

Where the story ends.

Speak up.

Take me to bed or lose me forever.

Hey, think fast.

love #2

Cherry on top

If I control my feelings; I win.

This one goes out to Mom.

24 ways to know I really like you; friend, or more.

You wore me like new summer style.

Reason # 76 why I love home.

Another song for the weekend

Thursday, 22 January, 2009

Taurus (20 Apr - 20 May)

We must stare into a crystal ball and only see our past.

oh baby, shake that ass.

From now on

I swear

3685

3, 2, 1.

You're everywhere to me.

Let's see

Call it off

And we'll never know.

M is for Montreal

I must say

Grow up.

too much, too late

It's kind of nice

All clean.